5 Tips for a Healthier Relationship with Social Media.

I woke up on the morning of May 3rd with an intuitive message repeating in my head.

“Don’t let anything fill your cup at night.”

I was confused, but I wrote it down anyways to not forget it and explore it later. The last time I received a message in the morning like this, my life changed dramatically (another story for another day!) So I knew it had to be important, even if I didn’t understand it then.

At about 9 p.m. that evening, the intuitive message came back. I tend to talk back to the universe, as any sane person would, and I asked what it meant. Finally, when I let go of my need to understand it and came back to the present moment, I received the response, it was in reference to my relationship with social media. About not allowing social media to fill my time, make me feel better or feel connected. To not allow it to validate any insecurities I may be feeling at the moment. Not giving social media the chance to bring me any type of temporary satisfaction.

Let’s be real, social media has become an integral part of our daily lives, providing us with a platform for communication and entertainment. In my case specifically, a platform to connect with clients! However, excessive use of social media can have negative consequences on our mental health and well-being. Recent studies have found that social media use is associated with an increased risk of depression and anxiety in all adults.

In an episode from the Huberman Lab podcast, Dr. Andrew Huberman, a neuroscientist and professor at Stanford University, discusses the impact of social media on our brains and bodies. He explains that social media use can lead to a decrease in dopamine receptors, making it harder for us to experience pleasure and satisfaction in our daily lives.

In the book "The Willpower Instinct" by Kelly McGonigal , she highlights the difference in our willpower at night versus during the day. Our willpower is a finite resource that can be depleted throughout the day as we make decisions and resist temptation. This depletion can be exacerbated at night when our brains are more sensitive to negative input, such as the negative information we may encounter on social media.

To reduce the negative impact of social media on our mental health, here are 5 tips you can follow that have been proven (by me!) to actually make a difference!

1. Take breaks/Detoxes. Silence all notifications on your phone or social media apps. Regularly disconnect from social media to rejuvenate and recharge. Designate specific periods (like evenings) or days (like weekends) as digital detoxes, where you completely abstain from social media. Detoxes can help break the dependency on social media and create a healthier balance in your life.

2. Engage in offline activities. Keep yourself busy with activities that do not require you to be on your phone. Set time for hobbies (new or old) and exercise; spend time with your loved ones. Put your phone on silent, or—like when I had less willpower— set your phone on airplane mode when hiking or out for dinner with friends. Only pull out your phone to take photos. If sharing your photos is something you like to do, post them once you arrive home or the next day. This allows you to be fully present in whatever activity you are doing. And whenever possible, keep your phone completely away so you never need to reach for it.

3. Develop a night routine. This can include:

   • Set notifications to be automatically silenced on all devices,

   • all screens are off (i.e. TV),

   • meditation,

   • breath-work,

   • journaling,

   • reading,

   • hot shower/bath,

   • stretching,

   • dimming lights,

   • etc.

4. Manage FoMO (Fear of Missing Out). If you feel FoMO as you use social media, or if you compare yourself to others, then this is for you:

   • Firstly, remind yourself that what you see on social media is a highlight reel and doesn't reflect the entirety of someone's life. Practice gratitude for the present moment and appreciate the experiences you are currently engaged in.

   • Secondly, limit your time on social media and be mindful of how it affects your emotions. Take breaks when you feel overwhelmed and redirect your focus to activities that bring you joy and fulfillment.

   • Lastly, spend time on your own goals and do what brings you joy (see tip #2). By focusing on your own journey and embracing the richness of your offline life, you can manage FOMO and find greater contentment within yourself.

5. Utilize apps that track our social media usage and even block access to certain apps.

Here are five popular apps that can help reduce social media usage:

1. Social Fever - targeted to beat our phone addiction, manage time and connect with real life.

2. Freedom - This app blocks access to distracting websites and apps, allowing you to focus on important tasks.

3. Offtime (iPhone) - This app allows you to set custom schedules for when you want to limit your phone usage or access to certain apps.

4. Forest - This app encourages you to stay off your phone by planting virtual trees that die if you leave the app.

5. Flipd - This app locks you out of your phone for a set period of time, helping you stay focused and productive.

Let’s get back to my story.

After receiving the intuitive message that morning, I decided to take instant action—and maybe exaggerated to some. I deleted the Instagram app that evening, re-installed it the next morning. I then proceeded to do that the entire week, and I used it sparingly for personal reasons over the weekend. I gave myself a schedule and I went back to having a routine around my social media usage throughout the day.

I started to recognize that I was getting myself back from a year ago when I did not have any social media. And I suddenly not only have more time for my hobbies, but I was more present and inspired to do things that I had stopped doing like reading and painting.

After one week of receiving the intuitive message, I slipped. It was suddenly 1 a.m. and I realized I was scrolling mindlessly through social media after a long day of work, and 3 hours of binge-watching Queen Charlotte (where I was reminded why I don't watch any series or movies anymore really). I went to sleep feeling miserable, woke up feeling miserable, and spent the whole day recovering from it.

It was not fun…and I never want that to happen again. I am grateful for the intuitive message I received that morning last week reminding me of the importance of getting back to the present moment. Of not allowing social media or other negative distractions get in the way of it.

Excessive social media use can negatively impact both our mental health and well-being, especially at night when our willpower and defences may be lower. By limiting our social media use and utilizing apps to track our usage, I believe we can take steps towards promoting a healthier relationship with social media and improving our overall well-being.