The Power of Emotions: Embracing Anger as a Catalyst for Growth
I love people who feel and express their anger! I especially appreciate those who choose to use that energy for conscious acts and positive change!
Don't be alarmed by the anger you feel. It is a sign that a boundary was crossed. The fire you feel from that anger can be used for transformative power!!!
When does it become a weapon? When it is used for revenge; when it is used to hurt others.
I grew up in a culture that does not deal with conflict. Anything that showed up and disturbed the peace, was instantly shoved under the rug. Without any communication, as that would have required vulnerability; sharing feelings and emotions which we had no idea how to do! Also, that time was much better spent on studies, work and being social with friends and relatives! That had a higher value. And it goes without saying, passive aggression was easier.
As a result, I grew up prone to explosive behaviour after a long period of time of keeping everything inside. I felt frustrated the majority of the time, so I resulted to journaling. Then, when I finally did explode, I saw my behaviour and I was so embarrassed by it. I did not like that version of me. So I began to feel shame about getting angry and expressing it the only way I knew how.
Through my conflict management and mediation training over the years, I finally learned how to communicate my anger and resolve issues even in the face of someone who wasn't interested in doing the same. I learned the tools necessary to help me resolve conflict before I felt the need to explode. It took years of practice, especially with family, who as we all know does a great job of bringing out everyone’s childhood self and triggers. I mean, we blame them, but in truth it is just unhealed things within us, but that is another topic for another day.
The last thing I had to learn was to let go of the shame I had around my anger. As a collective, we almost see it as a weakness or something to be ashamed of. I especially see this in the spiritual community. We are almost asked to shut off, and shut down…so we can maintain the facade that we are in peace and zen at all times; to be in love and light, at all times. Sometimes, we forget that we chose to come here, we chose this human experience, we chose to love, laugh and feel. We chose this experience with all its light and darkness.
It takes a lot of time and a lot of unlearning to work through the anger, pains, traumas, insecurities and anxiety— the shadows— that show up in us for us to find the real balance within. We can't just hide away from these feelings— physically, mentally or emotionally. We can’t disregard them as untrue, unreal, or not needed. We can’t feel shame towards the shadow part of us.
This beautiful life comes with light and darkness, clarity and shadow. We embody both within us. It’s up to us to love both those parts within us, both those parts within this life. If we don’t find a way, we will always be in conflict with it and with ourselves.
So, if you're feeling angry, don't be afraid of it. Don't be ashamed of it. Don't stop yourself from experiencing your feelings.
This is where your power lies.
