Tales from the Trail: 10 Lessons Learned on el Camino de Santiago
My el Camino de Santiago
Today is the 1 year anniversary of completing my el Camino de Santiago adventure. One of the hardest and most profound experiences of my life.
I completed the last chunk of Camino Portugués (Portuguese Way) and added el Variante Espiritual del Camino Portugués (Spiritual Variant of the Portuguese Way). I walked from Vigo to Santiago de Compostela, Spain; it came to a total of 130 km in 5 days. The strangers I encountered that I felt I had known before, the Camino Family I made, the pain I felt and the lessons I learned, forever changed me. And reflecting on them today brings me that same light again. I feel so grateful.
The Camino Calls you…
…and there is no other way to say this other than it just calls you. I hardly knew anything about it. During my stay in Valencia, Spain in the summer of 2022, I met a beautiful soul named Gabby. We instantly felt a deep connection and knowing of souls, one that we knew was over different lifetimes. She told me about one of the most life-changing experiences of her life: walking the el Camino do Santiago, twice. She did Camino Francés, (French Way) over 39 days, where she met the most incredible humans and had the most profound revelations.
Nearing the end of August, during a conversation over Paella with my dear friend Marta in Alicante, I expressed my desire to walk, to hike, to be out there and to participate in a longer trekking trip as I once did in Colombia when I visited La Ciudad Perdida (the Lost City). She suggested el Camino de Santiago, and told me all about it…that I don’t have to do the full route, and that there are many routes to take that I can choose from. The seed was planted.
A few hours later, during my 2 hour ride-share back to Valencia, the older woman sitting in the passenger seat turned to me and spoke in English for the first time.
“Is your name Tula?” She asked hesitantly.
I nodded, in shock.
“I need to tell you something.” She started. “I need to tell you that you have to do el Camino de Santiago. It’s what you need to do, and I got the message that I had to tell you.”
I felt shocked and overwhelmed by the clarity of this message.
I was in such flow in my life at the time, that I had no other option but to answer this call. I did a bit of research. With the help of my friends Antonio and Philipp, I decided on el Camino Portugués. Within 2 days, I borrowed Gabby’s backpack (mine was back home in Toronto, Canada), bought a few things I needed like trekking shoes, and booked the flights and first 2 nights of hostel stays. I was leaving in 2 weeks, and it would be just enough time before my tourist visa expired. The timing of everything was perfect. I can hardly remember booking anything, it went so easily and fast! It was shocking for everyone around me, but really…not so surprising for those who know me.
Just as beautifully as how it all came together, I found that by the time the flight to Vigo approached, all attachments in my life were released in perfect timing. I had been living in Spain for nearly 2 months, in a bedroom I was renting. I did not have much responsibility, no man (or any of interest) in my life. I was in between deciding where to live, and what to do with my career. I was in the best possible place I could be for the adventure I was about to experience.
I was free.
I was open.
And I was in flow.
More than I have ever been before in my life.
Arrival day & Stage 1
Arriving in Vigo, I instantly saw the yellow and blue shell on the wall that suddenly made it all feel so real! The yellow shell and yellow arrows were the symbols pilgrims followed to get to Santiago de Compostela.
Reaching my hostel for the night in the centre of the town, I saw a young woman sitting in front of the building. After a short chat, we instantly became friends and later Camino Sisters. She was an inspiring young woman who had already been on the el Camino Portugués for many days and agreed to take me under her experienced wings.
After putting my things down, we walked around beautiful Vigo, had dinner and listened to each other’s stories. She settled my nerves about what was to come. I was so grateful to have her guidance and advice as we embarked on my first stage of the Camino. She was an angel sent to me for that first 19 km, especially during all that elevation we gained! She has a video of us laughing while what felt like climbing uphill to prove it :) Thank you beautiful Micky.
We were staying at different pueblos (towns) that night. So we said our goodbyes and Buen Camino (Good Way – the phrase everyone wishes pilgrims as they walk) with so much gratitude and love for what was shared between us.
Stage 2
The second morning, many from my hostel began their day at 5 or 6 a.m. The Spaniards had rubbed off on me by then, and I took my time and was 1 of the last 2 to leave the hostel at 8:30 (and yes, the other was a Spaniard). I went to a local cafe, ate my pan con tomate (bread with mashed tomato, olive oil and salt) & an Espresso, journaled, said good morning to the different elderly folks walking in who responded with Buen Camino, and chatted with the cafe owner about the beauty of taking our time in the morning, especially while on the Camino. After paying, he wished me a Buen Camino, I picked up my heavy backpack, put the rain cover on it, and I was off to walk through the beautiful forest and villages under the dreamy light rain that is typical of Galicia province of Spain. I was in peace.
I spent a lot of time walking alone that day. When I passed other pilgrims, and you know them by their backpacks with a shell dangling from it, we shared stories as we walked together for a time, and then waved off with Buen Camino as I walked on. I am a 158 cm tall petite woman and have gotten used to walking a little fast since school where I loved to pass quickly through the crowded hallways haha…I am sure all you short people out there can relate!
That night I met a young group from Huelva and Basque country. We explored Pontevedra, had incredible food, laughed to our hearts’ content, and then I went to bed right after our very late dinner because I could never keep up with the Spaniards. Have I mentioned how much I love this country, despite all the difficulties it has put me through!? Hahaha.
Stage 3 - Morning
Sitting in the hostel’s cafeteria the next morning morning, I was still feeling content and rested. A little tired, but I had only walked about 40 km in two days. My past hiking experience and active lifestyle carried me that far. I had no idea what was coming for me…
Sitting next to me at the table was a group of three Spaniards who were full of laughter and kindness in their eyes. We recognized each other from the night before when I helped them enter the hostel and find the receptionist. We said hello. In front of me was an older, very tall man, who instantly started a conversation with me.
His name was Michael from Germany, and was excited to start that day’s stage: Variante Espiritual. I couldn't believe it! Through my research prior to the trip, I had come across very little information about this different and quieter route of Camino Portugués, which starts from Pontevedra, and takes you along the coast and on a boat ride. I however never found enough details on it to confidently commit to doing it on my own.
In my excitement and in awe yet again for how beautifully the universe worked, I found the courage to ask him if he was open to having a companion on his journey. He was so sweet and instantly said of course! He actually seemed happy about it, and I was instantly relieved that I would not be a bother!
As we were about to leave, a conversation was struck with the other three beautiful souls sitting next to us: Lourdes aka Lu, Agustus aka Agus & Breatriz aka Bea (from Cordoba). As the stars and our alignments would have it, Michael had also met them the previous night! After a very short deliberation, and with excitement all around, they decided to join us!
And that is how our Camino Family started. They say everyone who does the Camino finds their Camino Family, and I did that morning.
Stage 3 & 4
“…you are really talented at life coaching. Why are you so focused on conflict management when this is your gift?” -Michael
The next few stages were the happiest, purest, and hardest I experienced. And despite all that, I always felt safe and taken care of.
We walked through the friendliest villages where everyone wished us Buen Camino as we walked on by. I had my first Spanish churros with sugar. We walked through vineyards and farms, through the absolute wilderness with luscious greenery, and little waterfalls. We even walked along the coast and beautiful beaches. We even took a boat one early morning as part of the route that broke down and had to turn around, but used that opportunity to braid each other’s hair. The first night together, no hostels were available and somehow, Agus found us a beautiful century-old family mansion, where we showered comfortably, had our own rooms, and danced Sevillano and I showed off my Bachata skills.
Our walks weren't always all together. We separated into our small little groups that alternated and even at times we walked alone when we felt the need to. The conversations we had were so profound. One of the conversations I remember best was with Agus. We were walking through a beautiful national park with tell eucalyptus trees. He was helping teach Spanish for words like “tree” or “shade” in the middle of the deepest conversations on culture, love and happiness. I am sure we were all changed because of those one-on-ones during our beautiful walks.
Stage 4 was the hardest of all for me.
It was about 30 km that day, the longest day thus far, and the last hour was the hardest I had experienced yet. I felt so much pain in my legs--my calves--that the only thing that kept me going was the mantra repeating in my head: “I am not my body, this body is just a tool. I am not my body. I am not my body.”
Michael saw how I was and walked with me, I think easily too…and cheered me on. I tried to walk through it quickly to arrive to our destination—the hotel. “I am not my body!”
When I finally arrived at the hotel I went directly to the shower, filled the tub with water, and cried and cried and CRIED.
It was not just the pain that I felt that never seemed to waiver…but it felt like I was crying away all the pains and traumas I had experienced over the past few years. I was crying for me.
When I finally decided I was ready to leave the bathroom, I found out my Camino Family was at the beach, soaking in the sun and resting their legs. An old trigger showed up: I felt abandoned. I decided to rest in bed in my towel, raise my legs up against the wall, and continue to cry in my loneliness, abandonment and physical pain.
After a time, they convinced me to put on some clothes and join them at the beach. When I arrived, the peace and beauty of the sunset brought me back to the present, and their chatter and laughter distracted me. In the middle of their chatter, Lu, the nurse, asked to check my calves.
I was resistant at first. I felt my usual pang of guilt whenever anyone offered to do anything for me. I didn't want to bother her. But finally, she convinced me. As she began massaging my calves, the tears came again and I felt my usual pang of shame whenever I cried in front of anyone. At that point, Michael had shifted to a new position that was blocking the sun and its warmth. Despite the cold I was feeling, I did not want to ask him to move and bring someone who’s come to mean so much to me any discomfort, the guilt was there again. So I said nothing.
Lu suddenly breaks through all the shame and guilt I was feeling.
Lu said the pain in my calves was not physical. My muscles were relaxed and I was physically fine. Maybe tired, but fine. She saw how disappointed I looked. I brought up the way it was feeling and how painful it was.
She looked at me quietly for a minute as she continued to massage my calves, she finally said,
“It’s okay to ask for help. It’s okay to let go. It’s okay to be held. It’s okay to cry.”
With this new permission, I finally allowed myself to let go. I cried. I cried in front of 4 beautiful souls that I had only met the day before. And yet, I felt safe, not judged, and even loved. They held me in my pain as I cried away like a child crying in their mother’s arms after scraping their knees.
As I began to come out of it, I finally worked up the courage to ask Michael to shift a bit as I was really starting to feel cold. He was so grateful I asked because he realized he was in a position that was uncomfortable for him and was confused as to why I had not asked sooner.
Stage 5
The last day was another 30 km or so. We were back on the main Camino then, on el Camino Portugués. But this day wasn’t so bad and while I was tired as heck, I was not in pain. I was actually happy and excited!
Along the way, we were joined by other pilgrims & friends of my Camino Family who happened to live in nearby pueblos and wanted to join us on the last few km of our walk.
We walked to our final destination surrounded by chatter, laughter and encouragement!
Entering the city of Santiago de Compostela felt like nothing I had ever felt before. It was a combination of excitement, relief and grief that it was almost over. When we reached the final court of the cathedral, we stood there in disbelief. We cried, laughed and hugged each other. And I think we danced! Then we laid on the bricked ground, took off our shoes, and took it all in—every feeling, every emotion, every thought, and every sound. Then we sat and watched other pilgrims reach the court, going through the same bundle of emotions as we had just experienced. Through watching them, I felt it again and again. I wish I could find the words to describe it better. I am sure someday I will.
The Morning After
“If you want light, you have to go through the dark. So, I’m happy for you because light is coming” - Dominic
I actually loved what I was seeing and feeling so much, I went back the next day just to sit and watch the pilgrims arrive. And that was when I met the last member of my Camino Family. Domenico from Italy.
As I was sitting with my back against a column, rubbing the new shell bracelet that Bea gifted me, I watched a man arrive alone from the back corner. He came to a stop a few meters away from me, and I watched him go through many emotions as he looked ahead, at nothing really, because what he saw really did not matter. He eventually set his bag down, sat and began to feel overwhelmed with emotions. I got up, walked over to him, and asked if I could join him. He nodded. So I sat. I couldn’t imagine what he had experienced and faced during his pilgrimage, but I could tell it was something deeply profound. I intuitively knew he could use a person to share it with. After chatting for a bit, we hugged for a long time as we both cried…And he told me a bit about his 35-day adventure through el Camino Francés. Our encounter was beautiful, in every way. Full of deep reflections, vulnerability, and compassion.
It truly was an incredible way to end the incredible el Camino de Santiago adventure.
The 10 lessons I learned:
Remember to really enjoy every moment of the journey.
Receiving is necessary. And it is beautiful. It's a part of the flow.
Stay in flow, flow and let go listen. No need to control anything. Trust. Flow. Allow.
Use my voice. It's okay to speak up for my needs when I need them. Take care of my needs and myself. This does not get in the way of loving others. However, don’t allow loving others get in the way of taking care of myself and my needs.
Pain and suffering are not necessary to get to where I need to go. Pain and suffering manifest because of the choices I'm making; because of my lack of flow. However, it is possible to live a life without pain and suffering. I will take care of myself, work through my traumas, stressors and fears…and surrender. And when I feel pain and suffering showing up in my physical body, I will use that as a sign from the universe that I am no longer in flow.
I'm okay. More than okay. I have done the work. I have grown so much. I am healed. I am in a beautiful good place. I am in a great place in my life. I am good at what I do. Great at following my heart. I'm so good.
Yes, I can confirm nature is absolutely, 100%, without a doubt and will all certainty: essential. I love to hike. I love to be in nature. I love the trees, the greenery, the water, the birds and even the insects. It’s a great way to be present, to connect with all the beauty that exists, and the beautiful energy I'm surrounded by.
I'm good at what I do. I'm a good coach. So let go, and pursue my dream career of spiritual work instead of doing what makes sense and dreaming of the “someday.”
Mi corazon siempre conoce el camino. My heart always knows the way.
Life is only as hard as my thoughts make it out to be. It's as easy as I decide to be.
Post Camino Journal Reflections
After the Camino, I had never been so happy or felt so grateful. I felt as though no matter where I was or what I was going through, I knew I could find the surrender and freedom I was feeling in the days following the Camino. It was inside of me; a part of me. I realized that through the time and practice that I had given myself up until then, I had reached a place of truth and bliss. I suddenly had an awareness that it was all in the power of my mind.
Unlike before, I had a newfound strength in my mind to manage my thoughts and hold on to that freedom. A newfound strength in my soul.
I felt grounded enough to no longer allow negative energies, fears and discouragements to impact me like they used to. I knew I still had more work to do, but I was incredibly grateful and happy with the progress I had made.
Following the Camino, I also found a clarity I had not experienced before. A clarity on what I want to do for my career, where I want to live, and how I want to live my life. My priorities in my life became clear. And I knew what I needed to do next to live a life of service, love and bliss.
I am so grateful for the Camino. I am so grateful for all that it has brought into my life. The experiences, the nature, the pain, the lessons, the beautiful souls and the clarity. They say when you do it once, you crave it again and again, and I have to agree! I look forward to that day when I experience a new Camino, maybe on my own again, maybe I will share it with a partner. But I know one thing, that when I do, I will explore new themes in my life, have profound experiences, and meet the most beautiful pilgrims that I had for sure crossed paths with in other lifetimes.
